Velvet Crowbar
by TheLovelyJudy
Summary: He has nothing. Nothing now but this darkness inside of him. it's time to let the monster out of his cage. [Alex/OC]
1. Velvet

_**Velvet Crowbar**_

Important Author's Note:

Takes place four years _before_ the events of ACO. In this story Alex is _very out of character_, there's a strong sense of humanity and warmth in him not seen in ACO. You'll have to keep in mind that a lot can happen in the span of four years.

It's what will happen during those four years that push him over the edge and turn him into the heartless monster we all know him as. Remember that four years is more than enough time for things to happen to cause him to change drastically.

So while you're cringing at Alex being painfully OOC just remember that it's me who's writing this and _you can trust me_ and I'm doing it all _on purpose_ and _for a reason_. So please bear with me.

Assuming ACO takes place in 1971; this prequel (if you will) takes place in the year 1968 and continues onward. Alex is twenty years old in this story, Rachel is eighteen. Malcolm was around twenty-four when he actually filmed ACO (please correct me if I'm wrong) so I believe this fits.

* * *

_**Part I/Part II: Velvet**_

**1968**

**.**

**.**

**.**

_You are my sunshine_

_My only sunshine_

_You make me happy_

_When skies are gray_

_You'll never know dear_

_How much I love you_

_Please don't take_

_My sunshine away_

_-Johnny Cash_

**.**

**.**

**.**

Whenever he closes his eyes the first thing that flashes across his mind is her face. Her heart-shaped face framed by caramel ringlets, her plump kissable lips, her bambi eyes the color of emerald. The most gorgeous girl he's ever seen and she's his.

He thinks about the way she laughs, the way she always smells like fresh strawberries, the way she bounces up and down when she's excited, the way she does her hair, the way she dresses up, the way she dances, the way she smiles. And of course he thinks about being with her, he thinks about kissing her soft lips. And let's be honest here, he thinks about making love to her. No…not about raping her; he doesn't want to hurt her.

What the hell was so damn special about her? It's the way she laughs so hard her eyes tear up, it's the way she sings in the shower, it's the way she's with other people; so tender and loving despite all the pain she's gone through in her life. It's the way she shakes her cute little bum for him and sticks her tongue out playfully. It's the way she calls him "sweetie" how could he not fall for someone like that? Someone that beautiful inside and out.

Alex's mind drifts to the memory of the night he took her virginity. The way she whimpered at his every touch, the way she giggled when his fingers tickled her sides, the way she gasped and whimpered "It's so big Alex" when he pushed his length into her slowly, unaware of how much hearing her say that turned him on.

She was so sweet and innocent, so _angelic_ laying beneath him as he made love to her. And for some strange reason, in a way he felt like it was his first time as well. He'd fucked a lot of girls, lost his virginity when he was fourteen. He'd participated in gang bangs, he'd seduced two sometimes three girls to come home with him on more than one occasion. And while he wasn't _nervous_ with Rachel he was extremely conscious of the fact that she was a virgin and she was nervous and he didn't want to hurt her. Every move of his was calculated, and he'd paid close attention to every sound and expression to make sure he wasn't doing anything to make her uncomfortable or to hurt her.

He'd wanted to make her moan and cry out in pleasure; wanted to give her mind-blowing orgasms that would leave her _trembling_ and he did. He'd never really cared about the satisfaction of his previous sexual partners but with her it was the opposite. Sitting here in this library he can still clearly see her face as her first orgasm shook her entire body, made her arch so beautifully under him as his fingers pumped in and out of her tight warm cavern. The way her cheeks flushed pink, plump lips forming a perfect 'o'shape, those bambi-sweet eyes fluttering shut, she'd looked so _beautiful._

Alex feels his pants tightening. Luckily the table hides it from view, his eyes flutter shut. Images flashes rapidly across his mind. Rachel whimpering as his fingers softly rub her clit, Rachel arching off the bed her breasts on full display the pink nipples hardened and slick from his mouth, Rachel's beautiful body squirming as whimpers of pleasure escaped her. Rachel screaming out in bliss almost on the verge of tears when he used his mouth to give her multiple orgasms (bog she'd been so incredibly sensitive and she'd tasted so sweet, Alex normally didn't care much for eating out girls but hearing her squeals of pleasure, feeling her legs shake on his shoulders..._**fuckin' hell**_)

It hadn't hurt her when he entered, for he'd spent a good amount of time making sure she was nice and wet for him. Alex had been slow at first, waiting for her to give him permission to go faster and after a few slow thrusts she whimpered out "P-Please Alex" he'd known what she wanted but he wanted to hear her say it, wanted to push her a little. "Please what, baby?" his voice was so husky and breathless. "Harder…please Alex go faster and…and h-harder" he gladly obeyed her timid request, and after a few more minutes he was going fast enough to make her breasts bounce, the bed squeaking audibly with his powerful thrusts into her body.

Their moans mixed with each other, her high-pitched whines and choked cries of blissful blinding pleasure and his deep sometimes animalistic growls as he drove himself into her bringing the both of them orgasm after orgasm, their bodies trembling against each others. "Fuckin 'ell baby…you're so tight" he'd groaned as he kissed her throat. She'd been so _**sweet**_ and timid that night, so fucking beautiful. And while he'd loved having sex with her, his favorite part of that night had afterwards when he'd held her in his arms. Even after thorough loving making she'd still smelled like strawberries to him. The sheets of his bed wrapped around their waists, her breasts against his chest.

Suddenly he feels someone hug him from behind, Rachel's warm lips are kissing his cheek. Alex scoots the chair back so there's enough room for her to sit on his lap without the table digging too hard against her lower stomach. She sits sideways, her legs dangling. He rubs lazy soothing circles on her smooth legs and runs his fingers through her hair. "How's my baby doing today?" he asks her, giving her a quick but full kiss on her plump lips. "Good, school was really boring today. We had a substitute and did nothing but book work all day." He makes an exaggerated ew face at her and she laughs, "How about you? How'd your day go?"

"I've been mostly here, slept in pretty late" he tells her. He gently pushes her off his lap so they can both stand up, taking her hand in his he starts pulling her with him. "I promised you a date night, princess." He grins at her, but Rachel is resisting. "It's three in the afternoon Alex. I have homework due for History tomorrow" he turns to face her and cups her face, "C'mon baby. Live a little. Your homework can wait. In fact why do it at all?" he suggests, waggling his eyebrows and grinning.

Rachel glares at him but they both know she's not really angry at him, her green eyes sparkle with love and humor. "Alex Delarge you're trying to turn me into a bad girl" he dramatically gasps and smacks his hand against his chest as if appalled by the very thought. "That hurts, Rachel Baby, that hurts a lot. I can't believe you would accuse me of trying to corrupt an angel like you" she scrunches up her nose at him and sticks out her tongue. "Why you little!"

She squeals and runs, just barely escaping his grasp. Onlookers watch, some amused and others annoyed, as the handsome young man chases his beautiful lover playfully all over the library square. He catches her round her waist, Rachel squeals helplessly as he tickles her ruthlessly. Making her squirm and shriek with laughter. "Alex stop! Please, have mercy!" she pleads but he will not yield. "Maybe; _maybe_ I'll stop if you give me a real sladky kiss on the rot darling" he teases her, eyes twinkling. She pretends to be disgusted with the idea and dramatically flings her head away from him, "Never!" she declares with a dramatic flair causing both them to laugh.

Alex pulls her flush against him and gives her a real horrorshow smacker right on her pretty mouth, he smirks against her lips when she whimpers. He knows how weak his kisses make her. "Now how about that date, babydoll?" he mumbles huskily against her mouth, coaxing her with his smooth voice. "I…I guess I can…skip my homework just this _once_"

* * *

It's been three months of bliss. Alex and Rachel are completely inseparable. They've spent their summer in a state of euphoria and naïve young love. Nothing else matters, and they both naively believe that their love is strong enough to withstand anything that comes their way. He loves everything about her, loves her so much it aches sometimes. And she loves him just as passionately. Of course the adults around them hint that it won't last forever but they know better.

Alex holds a completely nude Rachel against his naked body, their lower bodies tangled in his bed sheets as he runs his fingers up and down her back. He looks at her the way every lonely teenage girl dreams of being looked at. She's sleeping, her dark thick lashes kissing the apples of her cheeks as she snores softly, content in his arms. An idea crosses his mind making him smirk wickedly. Careful to not wake her, he slips from her arms and moves to the end of the bed.

She's a deep sleeper, luckily for him. Alex gently rolls her onto her back, she mumbles incoherently in her slumber and he softly kisses her lips. He kneels back down at the end of the bed and gently pushes her legs apart. Feeling his penis strain against his pants at the sight before him; a pretty pink pussy and it belongs to him. Alex leans forward and kisses her inner thigh gently, he hears her mumble in her sleep. He kisses the other side, a bit harder now. "Baby" he calls in a husky voice. "Baby doll, wake up now" he says, kissing closer to her sex, still wet from their previous playtime.

He flicks his tongue against her clit making her sit up, fully awake. She cries out, surprised and aroused by his new method. She decides to start pretending to be sleeping just so this will happen more often, she doesn't mind being woken up like this at all. Alex eats her out like a starving man, his lips and tongue moving against her frantically but at the same expertly. It's hard and fast but not inexperienced or sloppy. She's writhing against the mattress, hyperventilating and whimpering in euphoric pleasure. Alex brings her to one of her most intense orgasms so far.

He smirks at her trembling figure, a lazy and satisfied smile playing on her lips. He moves back up her body and kisses her passionately, Their hips are flush against each other and for the second time that day Alex makes love to her. And she blooms beneath him like a flower.

Alex's mother, Shelia, grins upon seeing her future daughter-in-law. Alex hasn't asked the big question yet but his mother in all her maternal wisdom knows he wants to and she knows Rachel will say yes. The two them quickly say hello before heading straight to Alex's room. Rachel sits between Alex's legs, her back pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around her waist. She starts dozing off but he gently shake her awake again, "The movie starts in twenty minutes, darling" he reminds her gently, kissing the top of her head. She sits up fully and stretches.

His pride and joy is the motorbike his parents bought him for his eighteenth birthday, as he sits down on it after they say goodbye to his mother and make it to the parking garage where it awaits; he hands her his helmet. "What about you?" she asks as she hesitatingly puts it over her head. "I'll make sure to buy another one tomorrow, baby. Right now I just want you to be safe" her brows furrow, "well…okay, please be extra careful. I don't want you getting hurt" he smiles and starts the bike. She sits behind him, wrapping her arms securely around his waist.

It takes them fifteen minutes to get to the theater, they stand in a somewhat long line with Alex hugging her from behind. "Next please" a woman calls out and they quickly buy their tickets. The sit in the very back and can't not for the life of them tell you what's going on in the film being played before them. The two young lovers are too busy making out. He nibbles on her ear, and whispers dirty things to her in a low gravelly voice. His words make her blush and whimper.

Alex loves how he can turn his usually sweet, good-natured timid little baby doll into a squirming desperate mess just by saying a few dirty things to her. He's lips against her ear. He knows how to drive his girl absolutely crazy with desire. When they get to her place, they go to her bedroom and before he can say anything she pounces on him. They kiss and touch each other with a hungry passion only people of their age. She straddles him, and grinds herself down on his growing bulge.

But then a moment later she gets off him, "Oi! What're doing, sweetheart?" he asks, his voice strained. "You've been teasing me all day. You gave the female equiviliant of _blue balls _so you just lay there and suffer" she smirks at him, "You're an evil wicked woman you know that?" he whines, "Sure am. But I'm your evil wicked woman" Alex grins and replies, "Damn right you are, baby, Forever"

A few minutes pass by, both of them wanting to just pounce on the other but having too much dumb pride to admit defeat. "Ah fuck it" he suddenly declares reaching for her and playfully throwing her onto the bed. He leans in close to her face as if he's about to kiss her but instead starts tickling her without any mercy. She shrieks out laughter, wiggling around and getting close to the point of tears before he stops.

"I love you" he smiles down at her. She leans up to his kiss his nose. "Love you more"

* * *

**1969**

.

.

.

_If someone said three _

_Years from now_

_You'd be long gone_

_I'd stand up and _

_Punch their mouth_

'_Cause their all wrong_

_I know better, _

'_Cause you said forever_

_Remember when _

_We were such fools_

_And so convinced _

_And just too cool?_

_-Pink_

.

.

.

"I never see you anymore" he complains into the telephone, "I'm sorry sweetie. But I have three tests I need to study for and that essay on the Romanov Family is due tomorrow and I know I got it done but I still want to go over it a second time just to make sure it's perfect. I promise we'll go out this weekend. I have to go, my lunch break is finished. Don't be sad okay? Well I mean, if you're going to be sad at least be sad for me. I have to take political science now"

"Oh the horror" he teases her, "Hey. You wanna come up here and take it for me?" Alex loudly gulps making sure she can hear the exaggerated sound before replying "No mam" she laughs and tells him a quick goodbye and love you. He returns it and hangs up, putting the phone down in its cradle. He's proud of his baby, he really is but he misses being with her all the time. Last semester she'd only been able to afford two classes, which both happened to be Tuesday-Thursday courses.

She's majoring in Psychology, with an emphasis on Human Development. She wants a masters degree, and not only that but she wants to study creative writing, film history, animation, philosophy, and neuroscience. She's hungry for knowledge, always wanting to learn more and grow.

Now she has a scholarship and she's taking a full schedule. Thankfully she has the weekends off, but she works so their time together has become significantly limited. They don't want to admit it but it's taking a serious toll on their relationship. And soon it sparks their first big fight as a couple.

"Okay seriously. Why are you getting angry at me? Why?!"

"Because you're never fucking around that's why!"

"Oh I'm soooooo fucking sorry, Alex! I'm so sorry I'm trying to get a good education so I can get a fucking decent job. How fucking selfish and horrible of me!"

"Then how about you pick a fucking major and stick with it!"

"I am! But you know what, I'm only going to be attending college for two or three more fucking years and I want to enjoy it! God damnit I only could afford one class last year Alex so excuse me if I'm excited about finally having the money to take more this year"

"What the fuck do you need to study animation for?! It's not fucking needed! You're never going to use it!"

"Because It's a fun class Alex, it's fun and challenging. You were supportive of me at the start of this year and now you're against it?! what, should I drop out and live the rest of my life as your fuck buddy?! Why are you trying to make me feel guilty about pursuing my dreams and what makes me happy?!"

He glares at her and stands up, "I'm fucking done with this" he growls slamming the door shut behind him. She wrenches it open a second later, "No. _We're_ done, Alex! I never want to see your face again do you fucking hear me?!" she screams down the staircase. She turns back into her apartment and slams the door shut behind her. Then she sinks down to the ground and begins to sob.

* * *

It's been a week. They haven't spoken a word to each other. She's thinking about him, as she does every moment of every day and she feels a vexing mixture of anger and longing. She misses him, of course she won't admit this out loud but she does. She misses him so much it hurts. And it hurts the most during those little moments. She hugs her pillow at night and wishes it was him. Other nights she grinds herself down on it bringing herself to an orgasm that's not nearly as satisfying without him being there with her to give it to her. Finally one of them breaks and it's not her.

"Baby, look…I know you're probably still pissed at me but can…can we just meet up at the Duke and talk? I miss you" Alex's voice cracks on her answering machine. And she knows now that he's been thinking of her as much as she has him. She doesn't sit around pretending to "think about it" they both miss each other so what is there to think about? She calls him. They agree to meet at the Duke tonight. They sit across from each other and there's an awkward silence between them for a few seconds. Rachel breaks it first.

"I understand that last year I had a lot of time to spend with you, and I loved every moment I had with you Alex please never ever think the opposite. But we're adults, we're not teenagers and we have to grow up you know that don't you? I know you're scared of losing me but you won't. I love you, Alex. I love you so much. And…if you really want me to I can drop two or three classes"

"No. Don't do that, I was being selfish. You're right, we're entering the adult world and all you're doing is trying to make sure you're successful in it. I should support that, I should have supported you from the very beginning but I let my own insecurities get in the way. I'm sorry, baby doll, and I love you to. You're my angel, you know that right?"

They're holding hands across the table and as the night passes, she finds herself sitting sideways on his lap as he holds her in a strong embrace. And they both feel as if an enormous weight has been lifted off their shoulders. "Hey, guess what?" she smiles up at him. "Hm?" "I don't have to work this weekend and I'm all caught up on my school work so…I'm yours this weekend" His eyes sparkle with excitement. They hurry back to his place. For three straight days and nights they have sex, watch movies, talk, cuddle, listen to music, play fight, and have cuddle sessions that turn into having sex or vice versa. It's Monday morning and he's dropping her off at the university.

Three days of heaven.

Rachel and Alex agree that he should drive (or drive with her) her to school every morning and then pick her up at the end of the day. They do this so they can spend time together, and it always ends up the same way. With him parked and her in his lap, their lips moving frantically against eachothers. They're addicted to each other, but not just in a sexual way. They're absolutely crazy about the other person, they can't think of anybody else anymore. They can't see the rest of the world.

Her back presses too hard against the steering wheel causing the honk to sound loudly, without missing a beat Alex pipes up "That was my cock" and they're laughing so hard they can't breathe. They just laugh and hug each other, their bodies trembling with their mirth. He rests his forehead against hers. "You're beautiful, darling" he tells her as he always does.

* * *

"OH! That's wonderful news! Oh my goodness, come here you sweet babies! Oh my, Phillip! Honey come here! Come here! Oh it's such great news, I always knew this would happen oh didn't I tell you Phillip?! Alex, oh sweetheart! Rachel, come here darling!"

Sheila Burgess is beside herself with happiness as she gives her son and his fiancé bone crushing hugs, her husband pats Alex on the back. "Congratulations son" he says kindly reaching over to give Rachel a quick squeeze. "Let me see the ring!" Sheila pleads, sounding like a giddy teenage girl. Rachel proudly shows off the beautiful diamond he bought her; giggling happily with her future mother-in-law. She's beside herself with happiness as well.

Phillip takes his son aside, which the young man is grateful for. "I sometimes forget how incredibly high women's voices can go" he comments with dry humor, smirking. His father laughs, "They're probably talking about how you proposed as we speak. That's what women do, son" Alex sits down on the couch. "I really love her, dad. She's…everything to me"

"I can see that. And she loves you just as much. Your mother and I can both see it clear as day. You two are going to be immensily happy with each other. And you needn't worry about paying for the wedding, your mother and I want to"

"No dad, I can-…"

"Don't 'No dad' me. I'm doing this for only you, but for her. You two deserve a fairy tale wedding, that's what Rachel wants and we both know you don't have the money to give it to her. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, I didn't mean anything bad by it"

"No it's not. It's the truth, and you're right. She deserves the most beautiful of weddings. Thank you dad"

They were engaged on April 13th 1969 and the wedding will be on July 16th 1969, it's the same day they met. Alex suggested it much to his fiancé and his mother's girlish delight. ("Oh how romantic!") of course Rachel is still busy with school and work, however she's completed two courses and have a few extra days off during the week to spend with him. She really loves him a lot. They fight occasionally about her always being gone, about him not wanting to pursue the university himself, about wedding stuff, about where they'll honeymoon. But at the end of the day there's no doubt how much they love each other.

As he holds her in his arms, he looks down at her. "I love you"

"I love you more"

* * *

Please Review

I'm working on the 10th chapter of _**Power & Fragility **_don't worry, babies.


	2. Crowbar

_**Velvet Crowbar**_

Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed, added to favorite and following lists, or simply taken a gander at this piece of writing. I've worked hard on it and I appreciate every bit of support. This chapter deals with heavy topics, please proceed with caution.

* * *

_**Part II: Crowbar**_

**1970**

.

.

.

And you stood tall

Now you will fall

Don't break the spell

Of a life spent

Trying to do well

_-Sia_

.

.

.

She's glowing. Alex stands, chest puffed out with pride as his baby walks down the aisle towards him. Dear Bog in heaven, she's stunning. She's a fucking angel, she's his fucking angel. His eyes travel to her slightly bumped tummy. His little son or daughter is growing in there. God, could he get any luckier? Rachel is ten weeks along. He remembers her laughing and kissing him, "Really, sweetie, we have sex like every other hour it's amazing we got this far without a _million_ pregnancies"

The wedding is perfect, just like they're perfect. The wedding night is here now, and they make love all night. Alex can't think of anywhere in the entire world he'd rather be than laying naked with a sweaty angel clinging to him as the sun pours through the windows. "Rise and Shine, baby" he grins down at his sleepy bride. She sits up and stretches, he leaves butterfly kisses on the back of her shoulders. "I love you so much" he mumbles against her ear. "I love you more" she replies, giving him a soft sleepy smile and rubbing her eyes.

They're honey mooning in Italy, his parents surprised them with the trip much to their delight. Alex treats her like a princess, she is a princess. He kisses her slightly raised stomach, "Hello in there" he says enthusiastically making her smile. "If it's a girl, we should name her after that Beethoven song you love so much" she tells him as they hold hands and lean against each other. They'll go out and explore the city later. "The Ninth Symphony? That'd be a long name darling, unique yes but long don't you think?" Rachel playfully smacks his arm. "You know that's not what I meant dork!"

Alex pouts at her like a child, "I'm not a dork" "yes you are, dork" "Fine. But I'm your dork. Forrreevvver" he says in an exaggerated ominous voice and holding up his hand wiggling his fingers to show off his silver wedding band. She laughs and kisses him, "I meant we should name her Elise." She tells him, he grins and nods enthusiastically. "A gorgeous name for a gorgeous little girl" "Ah but don't forget it could easily be a baby boy, Alex sweetie you pick a name"

"I've always liked the name Adrian" he replies after careful consideration. She smiles, pleased with his decision. They lay in bed together for a few more hours, talking and laughing.

* * *

She had twins. Rachel holds Adrian while Alex holds their little girl, she smiles at the look of wonder and love and pride clearly stamped in his eyes as he coos at a sleepy Elise. "She's beautiful, she looks just like you baby doll" Alex says softly, now wanting to wake the slumbering angel in his hands. God she's so tiny. Alex leans down to kiss her lips before leaning further to kiss his son's forehead.

Adrian Cole Burgess was born June 13th 1970 at 4:38 pm his sister Elise Marie Burgess was born at 4:55 pm Alex remembers the excitement they felt weeks prior when they found out she was having twins. A nurse walks into the room accompanied by Alex's parents, smiling at the young couple and their two children. Sheila is crying with joy, Alex hands her his daughter before she loses her mind. "She's beautiful. She has her mother's sweet face and her daddy's beautiful blue eyes" she gushes.

Ten minutes pass before she's willing to her granddaughter back to her mommy, after promises to spoil her rotten of course. They drive home after checking out of the hospital, the babies' room is beautiful. The walls painted a pale blue, the carpet cream-colored and plush. Two cradles stand next to each other to the right of the room. Bookshelves stocked with first edition great novels and fairy tales, picture books owned previously by Rachel or Alex, stuffed animals passed down from Alex's parents and from Rachel herself. Rachel lays her son down while Alex lays Elise down as well.

"They're so serene and sweet, so angelic" Rachel comments, Alex hugs her tightly. "We have our own family now, baby doll" she chuckles and kisses him, they quietly leave the sleeping babies to retreat to their own room. The young couple find themselves in a passionate embrace, which isn't unusual for them at all. But this time their interrupted by the loud shrieking sobs of Adrian who wakes up his baby sister and makes her sob loudly.

She feeds them, rocks them, changes their diapers, and even sings to them and finally after a few hours of on and off again screaming they stop. Alex peeks into the nursery, "Is it safe yet?" she smirks at him "Sound asleep now. I think they're going to be a handful" "they got us as parents ,what'd you expect?" she can't help but agree with him. They don't get much sleep this night.

And not because their having hot sex like Alex would prefer. But because Adrian and Elise have some sort of deep hatred towards the concept of a good night's sleep. But as Alex wakes up exhausted the next morning he realizes that this—waking up tired as fuck, after spending the entire night trying to coax two unruly babies into sleep, next to a beautiful messy-haired goddess—is the happiest he's ever been in his entire life. Everything is perfect.

* * *

Rachel has taken Adrian to the doctors for a quick checkup, he's being showing some symptoms of a cold lately, leaving Alex and Elise alone. "Hi pretty girl" he coos at his daughter, holding her in his arms. She and her brother are six and a half months old now. They're growing up so fast, it seems only yesterday Rachel was even pregnant. She's still going to school, she'll have to finish this year and then attend next year and she'll be officially done. She's more focused now, she's dropped all her unneeded courses and is only taking ones she needs for her major.

This allows her way more time to spend with her family, which is her first priority now. Alex feels his heart swell as he looks down at his burbling little girl, "What? What is it, princess?" he questions her out loud bouncing her little bit. If Rachel were here she'd know _exactly_ what to do, he doesn't know how though. He's never seen her read those baby books, it's probably ancient wisdom that's bestowed upon mothers in a secret sacred ceremony or something like that. Women are fascinating.

Alex is playing with Elise, making her squeal happily, when Rachel walks in holding a fussy Adrian on her hip. "Hey, what's the verdict?" Alex asks over the joyful shrieks of his daughter. "Nothing serious, just a little cold. Doctor said it should be cleared up by Thursday" Alex nods and leaves Elise behind for a moment to kiss his wife hello. He takes his crying son from her and gently scolds him, "Adrian. Why are you fussing, huh? That's very unbecoming" Rachel goes to Elise. The little baby girl has realized that her mama is here now and is crawling towards her whining for love and attention.

She picks her up and kisses her nose. "Were you a good girl for your daddy?" she asks her, the question of course directed more at Alex than her. "She was an angel" Alex replies, "I brought back dinner, it's in the car. Go get it while I get them in their chairs?" Rachel asks, Alex nods and hands her Adrian so she's holding both babies on either side, their legs dangling against her hips. She bought some Chinese food, and by the time he gets back into the house she's already got them in their chairs. Five minutes into the meal and Elise is reaching out towards her mother, distressed.

"You stop that, angel, mama's trying to eat" Alex scolded, kissing his daughter's head. "She's getting better, honey, remember when I couldn't even put her down for a second without her screaming bloody murder?" Rachel reminds him, "Yeah but she still screams when you leave, it took me twenty minutes today to calm her down. Same with Adrian, they love you" "They love you too, it's the exact same thing when you leave. Last week when you went out, Elise sat by the door for a good solid hour screaming and crying; it was so sad." She turns to Elise and kisses her, "You were so sad huh baby girl? You missed your daddy so so much"

Alex stands up to give individual kisses to his wife and two children. Everything is perfect. They're perfect. Elise looks up at him and smiles. Yes, everything is perfect.

* * *

He's so stressed out. The desk in front of him is covered in bills, and his parents can only help so much. Alex is working two jobs and Rachel is seriously considering dropping out of school to work full time. An idea that is not okay with him at all, she loves it too much and it's too important to her. There's no way he's going to let her just drop out. So he finds a third job.

The twenty-two year old is on his way to job number two for a seven hour shift, he clocks in and makes small talk with a woman named Pamela. This is when a man around Alex's age walks in, "Hey I'm Georgie. I'm here for a job interview?" Pamela smiles politely and gestures for him to take a seat. "Yes of course, Mr. Brandon will be out in a moment. Alex, he wants you on the third floor today" she tells Alex handing him his work uniform. He nods in understanding.

Twenty minutes later he finds himself teaching Georgie the ropes, though the tall gangly young man seems distracted by something else. "You ever been to the Korova?" Alex sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose as memories flood him. "I used to go every now and then in my early teens but I stopped. That's not the life for me, hey pay attention"

Okay this isn't entirely true, he's been going every other weekend since he met Rachel. It's not bad or wicked really, he doesn't drink too much. Just enough to get him relaxed. "Well me and my droogs Pete and Dim are going tonight, you should come brother. We'll have a flip horrorshow time" ah that language, Alex knows it well. He hasn't used it for years now, there's no reason to.

"The Korova Milk Bar it is then, brother" he replies smoothly.

He drinks way more drugged milk than he ever did as a young lad, and it's making his mind bend and twist into unimaginable forms. He feels excited, powerful, and sharp. A young girl or devotchka is swaying to the music and he suddenly finds himself wanting her. Right there. On the floor with her panties around her ankles and his-no. he shakes his head to clear it of his filthy thoughts. Rachel is the only one for him… But they haven't had sex in weeks, they don't have time to go at it like rabbits like they used to. The vellocet is rushing through his veins like liquid electricity.

Back in his teenage years, Alex had admittedly had dark thoughts of violence and rape. He would see a pretty girl and fantasize about pinning her down while she cried and struggled, he fantasized about dominating them and hurting them.

But he never acted on those disturbing fantasies, never really thought to oddly enough. But with Rachel it was different. He thought those desires and wicked impulses would simply go away but even in all his happiness he found his mind drifting to images of himself carving blades into men's face, plunging into screaming girls, and grinding his boot into some poor person's face all while laughing at their misery and pain. It sent shivers up his spine.

The night flashes by in a blur of images and sounds, clear as crystal in their moment but hazy only seconds after their occurrence. He's punching some homeless veck in his filthy rot and as the red kroovy flows he feels his body tremble with excitement. Years of repressed violent fantasies come bursting to the surface and he loses himself in the blood splatters and screams for mercy.

Something pushes at his mind as he pummels this poor man, he's a husband and a father. What is wrong with him? he should be home with his family, not here in some dark alley way slamming his fist into this man's face so hard he can hear the bones in his face crack with each blow. But that sound, the sound of the man's gut wrenching sobs and the cheers of Georgie Pete and Dim.

It's like music to his ears

* * *

Back home he falls into his role as loving husband and father easily, it's like the previous night of violence and drugs was but a dream. He vows never to do it again, it was once and only once. He's a husband and a father. That's not the life for him. He loves Rachel and he loves his little girl and his son. There's no way he'll jeopardize that by getting involved with a gang.

He keeps his silent promise, he declines any and all Georgie's offers and invitations and focuses on his work. The weeks pass by, each day bringing more joy and frustration than the last. Rachel and him fight about money but at the end of the day they're a team and they love each other dearly.

Adrian is snuggling up against him, sleeping soundly and drooling onto his shirt. Rachel is sitting in the reclined arm chair near him playing patty-cake with a giggling Elise. Everything is perfect.

He's woken by the scream of his wife, panicked he stumbles out of bed to see what's wrong. He finds her, trembling violently, over the crib of their daughter. Before he's even sure what's wrong, he feels his heart slam against his chest and his throat tighten. Adrian is crying, woken by his mother's blood curdling scream. Rachel is gasping, it's hard for her breathe properly. "What is it? what's wrong?" Alex asks, his voice weak with terror. Something is seriously wrong here.

"_SH-SHE SHE'S NOT BREATHING! OH MY GOD, ALEX SHE'S NOT BREEEAAAATHING_!" Rachel sobs through her loud screams, Alex goes pale. He rushes to the crib and sees his daughter, she's alarmingly pale and her chest isn't rising or falling. He reaches a shaky hand to touch to her plump little face, it's cold. "No no no no no…baby, sweetheart please wake up. It's okay, daddy's here" he says and his voice gets thick with tears with every pleading word.

Rachel picks her tiny limp body and cradles her head, Adrian is screaming. Alex and Rachel are on the floor holding each other with a painfully silent Elise between them. At the doctors with Sheila and Phillip in company, they find out that Elise suffered from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. They can't take in anything else the doctor says though, nothing makes sense to them. Everything hurts. Rachel's eyes are bloodshot from crying so much, Alex's eyes are glazed over with a numb brokenness. Sheila is holding Rachel's hand, crying with her. Phillip rubs his son's back which normally would comfort Alex but he moves away and shoots his father a dirty look.

He's angry. He's furious. He curses whatever higher power resides in the heavens above. How dare they take away their little girl, their little angel. He wants someone to blame, he wants someone to pay but the truth is it's no one's fault. He knows this but he still wants to hurt somebody, he wants to take all this agony and force it onto someone else. He kicks the door open and storms out, he feels like his head is about to explode. He wants to kick doors in and punch walls and scream with rage. He wants to play with Elise and hear her sweet laughter and see her smiling at him.

But he won't ever hear her laughter again. And now he's realizing the things he'll never experience with her. Never will he drive her to her first day of school, never will he have princess tea parties with her, never will he introduce her to Ludwig Van, never will be hold her after her first heartbreak, never will he help her with school projects, never will he yell at her for bad grades, never will he praise her for good grades, never will he see her walking down an aisle in a wedding dress.

The funeral is six days later, it's a small gathering of family and friends. Rachel is holding Adrian and leaning against Alex who has his arm around her waist and his jaw resting against her head. She buries her face against his chest, muffling her sobs as they lower the casket into the ground. "My baby…my baby" Alex mumbles, his voice thick with tears, as he watches his daughter being buried.

* * *

Three months have passed and every day is a struggle to not fall apart at the seams. Rachel is bed ridden with grief, making Alex the sole caretaker of Adrian. It's like she doesn't even remember she has a son. Alex is getting tired of it. "Rachel, baby, look at me. I know you're hurting, I'm hurting to but your little boy is in there and we both know he misses his mama." But her eyes are glazed over with perpetually fresh tears and she curls into herself, she's hugging Elise's teddy bear tightly.

"I can…I can still feel her, Alex" she mumbles, speaking for the first time in months. "Rachel" Alex says her name, kissing her forehead and cheeks lovingly. "I miss her so much. I don't understand. Why would God let this happen? Why would he take her away from us?! She's dead! She's dead Alex, she's dead!" Rachel is screaming and she can't stop, the full realization has slammed into her like a mac truck going full speed. This whole time she's been in a state of sad denial. Alex holds her tightly, sobbing with her. Everything is broken.

Rachel's trying to be a good mom to her little boy, but she can barely spend more than two minutes with him without feeling the cold hands of agony squeeze her throat. She looks at him and she sees Elise and she can't breathe. Everything hurts. She's a ghost with a beating heart. Alex often finds her standing over Elise's crib, holding her teddy bear, and sobbing softly. When she's not sobbing, her face is void of any emotion save for the pain in her once sparkling now dull green eyes.

Alex finds himself back at the Korova gulping down vellocet and synthemesc to dull the agony of losing the light of his life, his pride and joy. Rachel won't even look at him or Adrian, she's trapped within herself and lost in her pain. He can't reach her, he doesn't know how. He drinks his moloko plus until he loses himself in a land of bright lights and dark thoughts. He wants to hurt somebody.

So he does. And he continues to do so every night, it's become his way of dealing with the pain. By forcing those same feelings of helplessness and agony upon other people. He wants the whole damn world to feel this pain. But it doesn't take any of it away, and when he gets home everything comes rushing back full force. There is his wife, lethargic and broken and silent. There is his son, too young to realize what's going on and crying out for his mother. There is his daughter's crib, empty.

Rachel attempts suicide twice. Alex is arrested on charges of assault after someone called the cops on him beating up some random college professor. As the police remove Adrian from his home, Alex is screaming at them. "Don't take him! You bastards! Don't take my son!" while Rachel stays curled up in the arm chair crying softly, out of touch with reality. A cop finally takes Alex aside and tries to calm him down, "Look at me. Look at me, I'm sorry. I know you two are going through a lot of pain. But you and I both know Adrian doesn't belong here. Not right now. You two need to sort everything out. You need to think about what's best for him."

Alex sits across from Rachel hours after the police have left, feeling numb and angry and broken. He looks at her and feels his heart swell with disgust. "If we get him back. I want full custody" he says in a hard voice. She looks up at him. "Excuse me?" he stares at her, "You heard me" "…y-you're…you're talking like you want to get a divorce" the hurt is clear in her weak voice and something pushes at his mind _go to her hold her make her laugh_ but he just stares at her and nods. "I don't love you anymore, I can't. You're…not the same person anymore"

She suddenly stands up and pushes at him, "Then leave! Leave you fucking bastard! you don't love me anymore?! Why?! Because I'm in pain?! my daughter died you fucking asshole!" she screams at him at the top of her lungs, he loses himself in his anger and shoves her too roughly knocking her back into the chair with a gasp of pain. "She wasn't just your daughter, you fucking bitch! She belonged to me too! She was my little girl too! She didn't just belong to only you! Look at yourself, you're a fucking mess! When's the last time you even touched Adrian?! I want a divorce you bitch and I'll die before I let you fuck up Adrian"

"And you won't?! how about you take a fucking look in the mirror Alex?! You're addicted to drugged milk, you fucking go out every night to drink that shit. You were fucking arrested on charges of assault! Oh yeah, Adrian's going to grow up amazing being raised by a piece of shit criminal father"

This is when Alex backhands her. In all his life, never in a million years would he ever imagine himself hitting her in anger. Time seems to stop, and he's suddenly reaching out to her apologizing profusely and shaking. "Get the fuck away from me!" Rachel screams, rushing into their bedroom and locking the door. He feels sick. Jesus, he just fucking hit her. Two years ago the very thought of hurting a hair on her head would never even crossed his mind.

He keeps apologizing to her through the door but she just continues to sob, then it gets quiet and he feels uneasy. It's scary, leaving Rachel alone considering her suicidal tendencies. It's way too quiet. "Rachel? Baby, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please open the door, just…just say something anything…Please I need to know you're okay" no reply. "I'm kicking the door in, Rachel" he announces. He waits a moment before following through with his promise.

He finds her face down on the floor with her throat slit open. He hears screaming, and it takes him a moment to realize that it's _him_ screaming. And he can't stop, there's blood everywhere and he's holding her in his arms. "No, No! NNNOO! Baby doll please! Oh god, please baby don't leave me. I'M SO SORRY, I'm SO SORRY Baby! Rachel, Rachel sweetheart please!"

* * *

Hours later he finds himself sitting on his old bed, with his mother sitting beside him, holding him. And he allows himself this moment of weakness. He holds her back and cries so hard his body shakes.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault….I told her I wanted a divorce. Jesus fuck…why am I so stupid?! She was already in a fragile state and I…she's lost her daughter and her s-son and I fucking…I fucking asked for a divorce! And now…now I would give anything, anything just to…to hold her again."

If his mother offers any words of comfort, Alex doesn't hear them. Something foul is taking over his insides, a rotting decay in the guise of sadistic cruelty. He feels real sharp, like a knife and he wants to run through these streets carving random faces with his blade surrounding himself with the symphony of pain filled screams. He usually pushes these feelings away or at least only allows himself to give into them when he's under the influence of moloko plus. Because then he has an excuse to himself for such trechareous fantasies. But no more. He won't bother controlling himself.

He has nothing. Nothing now but this darkness inside of him. it's time to let the monster out of his cage. It's time to let this new (or perhaps not new, just buried under the surface) Alex play.

* * *

**1971**

**.**

**.**

**.**

I'm friends with

The monster that's

Under my bed

In league with

The voices inside

Of my head

_-Rihanna_

**.**

**.**

**.**

Alex has claimed his rightful place as leader of this gang, which consists of Georgie and Dim and Pete. They were just a rag tag group of young men last year not really a gang. But Alex's ruthless cunning and intelligence make him the perfect fit for a leader. They're afraid of him. They understand that whatever good was in him was burned away after the agonies of his life. Nothing is holding back the beast anymore. He fills the empty void within with blood and cries for mercy.

Georgie remembers when he still had warmth in his eyes, now they are cold and the only time they shine is when he's hurting someone. He can't tell if this is a new dark Alex born from the ashes of pain and suffering or a long suppressed monster finally coming out because there's no love or sweetness to keep him at bay. He feels that it's probably the latter.

"Alex…you know maybe…maybe you should stop all this. I mean…don't you want to get Adrian back?" he suggests to him expecting to find himself on the ground with a broken nose but Alex just stares at the ground for a moment as if considering. He takes a drag off the cigeratte between his fingers, "The best thing I could do for that boy, Georgie, is leave him be."

And so Georgie never brings it up again. And he never brings up the fact that in that sentence, there was a sadness in Alex's voice a vulnerability that makes him wonder if somewhere deep down some humanity still thrives within his wicked bones. But as he stands and watches him carve out the eyes of a homeless man, laughing the whole time, he knows that if there is still a shred of humanity it's dying and it's dying fast. There's no stopping it.

Alex drags them through the pits of a new hell. Every night is filled with horror and blood, Pete can't handle it anymore. They used to just do petty crimes, and those crimes most of the time never directly hurt somebody. But Alex isn't interested in money, he's interested in causing damage and pain on innocent people. "I can't do it anymore Alex, I want out. I'm sorry, I won't tell anyone about you okay? I just…I can't handle another night of this. It's fucking me up man"

Georgie and Dim turn away, not wanting to see this. Alex backhands Pete, causing the young man's mouth to fill up with blood as he hits the ground with a wheezing gasp of pain. He straddles him and holds a knife to his throat. Georgie and Dim stay put, too scared to move an inch. "Slooshy to your droog and leader's slovos, little brother of mine. Shh, Shh don't go blubbering now. I ain't going to kill you, at least not yet. You think what I've been doing these last few weeks is heinous and inhumane don't you? Hey-what did I just tell you about blubbering, shut the fuck up."

A smack echoes in the room.

"It's time you learned something Petey-boy. I'm not the only monster, in fact I'm simply the only monster who's perfectly willing to show just how bad I can be. There's a darkness inside all of us, even you little Petey-Boy. This is world is filled with monsters, but by Bog and his Holy Angels if I go down I'm going down with their blood on my fucking hands and you three fuckers are going to help me do it. Nobody leaves, think of me as your God now my brothers. Because if you try to leave, I will make what I did to that piece of filth drunkie seem like a gentle embrace. Now get out of my sight"

And so they did. Pete is visibly shaking, Dim's staring off into space lost in his own thoughts and Georgie just ponders Alex's words. No, there is nothing good left in Alex's bottomless pit of a soul. Whatever kindness and warmth once thrived within is gone. Not buried underneath the surface, just gone. As if it never existed in the first place.

Days later he finds himself sitting in Alex's room waiting for him to emerge from the bathroom so they can head to the Korova when something catches his eye. A drawer left slightly open, he figures he'll just close it for him. And that's honestly his intention, he's no snoop. But then he sees it, the corner of a polaroid peeking out from under some books. Checking to see the cost is clear he gingerly lifts them open. A picture of Alex and Rachel on the wedding day, kissing.

And there it is, the sparkle in Alex's eyes and the sincere kind smile on his lips. Georgie closes the drawer and feels an overwhelming sadness for his ruthless leader. He's lost everything, it's no wonder he's become such a sadistic monster. That photo might as well be another person entirely, but Georgie can't help but wonder why Alex hasn't thrown it away. Does he take it sometimes and stare at it, remembering the laughter and love of that day? Does he cry?

_I'm not the only monster; in fact I'm simply the only monster who's perfectly willing to show just how bad I can be _George gives him a lazy smile when he finally emerges and they walk down the familiar road to a night of violence and wickedness. Alex the puppet master as always, Dim his mindless dog, Pete too terrified to resist and Georgie pondering the dark and tragic story of his broken leader.

* * *

Please Review. Oh goodness…this took forever. I was adamant about finishing this and publishing it last night but I got sucked into a new fandom. I watched the first twelve episodes of American Horror Story: Coven one right after the other. But here it is now, the final chapter of this two part story.

**More about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome**

SIDS rates have dropped dramatically since 1992, when parents were first told to put babies to sleep on their backs or sides to reduce the likelihood of SIDS. Unfortunately, SIDS remains a significant cause of death in infants under one year old. Thousands of babies die of SIDS in the United States each year.

The cause of SIDS is unknown, although there are several theories. Many doctors and researchers now believe that SIDS is not a single condition that is always caused by the same medical problems, but infant death caused by several different factors.

These factors may include problems with sleep arousal or an inability to sense a build-up of carbon dioxide in the blood. Almost all SIDS deaths occur without any warning or symptoms when the infant is thought to be sleeping.

SIDS is most likely to occur between 2 and 4 months of age, and 90% occur by 6 months of age. It occurs more often in winter months, with the peak in January.


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